BIGGIE'S PLACE

This one is simple enough. Just a random, bullet point list of, you guessed it, things I find disturbing. Many of these things truly do piss me off, but this isn’t a list of things that piss me off. Anger is temporary. The things I’m talking about here have become issues over time, and many of them are only getting worse. If you feel the same way about any of these things, seeing someone else bitch about them in a reasonably humorous, intelligent manner may help you cope. I’m here to help. Like George Carlin, I think I’m at my best when I’m complaining. On top of my love for writing and a desire to keep those tools sharp, it helps my general mental state to get things off my chest in this kind of forum. I’ve thought on and off about many of the following things for months, sometimes years. Don’t take this stuff too seriously, but I am serious.

–I find it disturbing that people use lyrics from rap songs as noteworthy quotes on their Facebook pages, instead of quotations from people, living or dead, who are/were actually intelligent and thought-provoking. Here’s a news flash; those lyrics are just as shallow as the ignorant morons who uttered them in their music, and you look just as ignorant by extension. This is no knock on talented musicians. There are many great lyrics in many great rap songs performed by many at least 4 or 5 great hip hop artists. I just wonder what’s going through a 20-something white girl’s mind when she writes something like, “Gettin this money, nigga. Ain’t nobody stopping me.” No, you’re just going to work, and nobody’s even trying to stop you. Let it be said that looking for insightful quotes on relationships from rappers is equally absurd, yet I’m seeing it done all the time.

In general, let’s stop holding up people like Lil’ Wayne as heroes. Aside from his accomplishments inside a recording studio, Dwayne Carter Jr. has done little that anyone should be looking up to.

-Speaking of white people and rappers, I find it disturbing how a lot of white teenagers are now casually calling each other “nigga”, like black kids in urban areas have been doing for years. I’m talking about middle class, suburban white kids, too, not white kids who happened to grow up around black kids who used the word a lot. This is ironic, because the majority of white kids who grow up with black kids wouldn’t dare use that word around them (hear Eminem use it much?). I see it happen on Facebook sometimes, and I’m hearing it a lot while playing with some of these kids on XBOX. I’m sorry, but the n-word (in any form) should not be in casual use amongst white people. Blame the absentee parents, blame subpar schooling, blame pop culture and stupid reality TV stars, blame whatever, but this kind of blatant ignorance is a gaping wound in our society. I grew up in an area where a lot of black kids called each other nigga casually. I’m half black, and I remember the one time in my life where I called another kid ‘nigga’, and I instantly regretted it and never did it again. I knew that it wasn’t part of my personality to talk like that, and I knew it wasn’t who I wanted to be. Even as a teenager, that word meant something to me, even if it didn’t to them, and actually saying it in context made me feel awful. By the way, it shouldn’t be used amongst young black kids, either, but for obvious reasons it would be a lot harder to eliminate its usage from black culture than white.

–I find it disturbing the degree to which cell phones and the internet have degraded people’s ability (and apparently their desire) to use the English language. It’s bad enough that most Americans know only one language, but when they willingly abuse and abandon that one language, we all look dumber. On my own end, I’ve made a concerted effort in recent years to speak better, and I always write in proper English online (or at least acceptable English), whether it be in an email, text message or just a status update on Facebook. Is society in that big of a rush that we can’t take LESS THAN A SECOND to add an apostrophe or the extra letter or two it would take to spell a word correctly? It’s fucking ridiculous. When I speak in public amongst friends or co-workers, people will often look at me funny, which in turn makes me look at them funny. It’s now strange to many people to hear the language being spoken properly, with words containing more than one syllable. I find that disturbing, and sad.

When I write things like “LOLZ”, “O HAI”, “ZOMG” et al online, I’m doing it on purpose- to accentuate a point, not because I’m being lazy. I try to avoid lazy internet abbreviations as much as possible. There’s nothing wrong with writing casually online (to a point), but it seems to me that many people now would be incapable of writing the right way if they needed to. I’d hate to see what some people’s college papers look like. You’ll never see me write “prolly” when I mean probably, “ppl” when I mean people, “dnt” when I mean don’t, etc. And I know this is a pipe dream, but I would literally sacrifice a year of my life if it meant everybody would properly use you’re/your and there/their/they’re. I also use proper punctuation as often as I’m able. One more goddamn thing friends…when you want to use an ellipses (…), it’s only THREE (3) dots, not 2, not 5, not 7, not 14. Adding extra periods does not create suspense.

I saw someone a couple nights ago write, “Whut up?” as their status. What’s wrong with the letter “a” there? Why spell a word wrong using the same amount of letters? That is so illogical I just broke my neck from my head spinning. Is one of your cool, hip buddies gonna think less of you if you wrote, “What up?” Is anyone really gonna think to themselves, “Yo, this cat lame yo, spellin 2 wurds straight da right way. I can’t be seen wit dat dude no mo’.”

I will again ask any female reader why in the blue bombastic FUCKTARD you guys unnecessarily add letters to the end of words. You’ve all seen it. For example, “Hungry. Having some snackssssss” What the fuck do the extra s’s indicate? The number of snacks you’re having? You’re having 6 snacks? 6 bites of a snack? What? “I’m boreddddd” Well, with 5 d’s, you must be REALLY fuckin bored. You don’t see me writing, “Off to see a movieeeeee”, “Got some extra cheeseeee on that pizza”, “Heading out to the clubbbbb”, do you? Extra letters at the end of a word can serve no practical purpose. It just looks like your finger got stuck on the last letter and you were too lazy to hit backspace a few times. Stop being dumb on purpose! It’s NOT a good thing!

Please, please, please stop butchering English. It’s a beautiful, complex language. The best in the world, if I say so myself. Use it! It’ll make you smarter! You may not realize this if you spend a lot of time on the internet, but smart is better than dumb!

I am completely unapologetic about this stuff. It offends me that people CHOOSE to present themselves as stupid online. If you think me too mean or anal or self-important about this issue, a) you’re missing the point, and b) I truly don’t care. Be thankful I didn’t address the people who spell letters using num83rs.

–I find it disturbing how rude people have become in everyday conversation. I can’t tell you how often I’m talking to someone at work, and someone in the vicinity who’s been listening takes it upon themselves to interrupt me (without saying ‘excuse me’ or otherwise indicating they’d like to cut in). And what makes it worse is when they try to interrupt and I keep speaking (which is my way of saying, “Wait your fucking turn”), and they just talk LOUDER over me until I can no longer be heard without yelling. This person will not be silenced, and they certainly will not wait their turn to speak. They are taking over this conversation with THEIR point, whether you like it or not. I mean, fuck you, interrupter. One, mind your own goddamn business. Two, if you have something to contribute to a conversation between two other people, simply wait until there’s a break in the conversation and THEN indicate you have something to add. Or wait until the conversation is over and then add something. We were all raised by human parents, yes? This is common courtesy. Or so I thought.

In some of these situations, it would be less rude to shut me up by kicking me in the nuts. Simply drowning me out with your own voice is not only rude, it fucking pisses me off. It’s the arrogance of it. YOU have something more important or more funny to add than whatever I’m saying, so you’re gonna outright stop me from talking to get your better, more important point heard RIGHT NOW. I guess this is a secondary example of the “now” culture we live in. We want stuff faster. We want stuff now. Information. Services. Results. Our need for immediate satisfaction has expanded from the realm of technology and seeped into our personal connections. And we’re not going to wait, even if waiting is prudent, or in this case, simply polite. You can’t offend your computer by yelling at it because it’s not giving you what you want fast enough, but you ought to realize you can offend people with a similar demand. And this is saying something coming from a misanthrope like me. If you can get me to empathize with humanity, you’ve really fucked up. When I see this happen to someone else, I get just as angry as if it were being done to me. I think I just created a new tagline in the midst of this rant. I’m creating stickers that say, “Fuck you, interrupter.”

–I find it disturbing how uncreative Hollywood is at naming their movies lately. Do I really have to go to a ticket window next month to see the new Liam Neeson movie and say, “Can I have one for Unknown?” Honestly.

“Mr. Neeson, what’s your new movie called?”

“Unknown.”

“You don’t know?”

“No, it’s called Unknown.”

“Ohhhhhkay.”

–I find it disturbing that Tom Brady‘s hair is still being compared to Justin Bieber‘s by some people. Maybe you idiots haven’t noticed, but Brady’s hair doesn’t look like it was glued to his fucking face in a swirly pattern. Bieber’s hair looks like the hair you put on a Lego person. It looks like it’s one piece that pops on and off. He’s probably got a buzz cut underneath and just pops the vortex hairpiece on when he goes out in public.

These two look similar how?

Tom Brady does NOT look like this:

This is an example of people blindly picking up on pop culture references. Friends, if you hear someone say something, and upon review it doesn’t make any sense, you don’t have to say it anymore. K?

–I find it disturbing that fans can’t enter a “Be An NFL Ref For A Day” contest. I want to throw yellow flags as hard as I can, make goofy hand signals and dramatic announcements about “illegal hands to the face” in front of 65,000 people. That looks like fun.

–I find it disturbing that within hours of the Tucson shootings last weekend, vile left-wing a-holes like Michael Moore, Paul Krugman and pretty much everybody on MSNBC had the audacity to claim that supposedly heated political rhetoric from Sarah Palin and the Tea Party this past election created the atmosphere for the shootings to take place. Ignored was the fact that the shooter appeared to have left political leanings, and that regardless of his political views, he’s a fucking lunatic, who wasn’t inspired to violence by Sarah frickin Palin or anyone else. Kudos to President Obama for not jumping on that bandwagon when he made his first remarks about the shootings. And shame on the liberals who jumped to conclusions, claiming it was hate coming from the right that induces violence like this. Thankfully, within days, ALL of these people looked like complete fucking morons and disgusting hypocrites, when Michelle Malkin posted THIS on her website, a play-by-play on virtually every act of violence and political hate speech displayed by the left over the past 10 years. You could not find a more brilliant, slap-in-the-face rebuttal to the ignorant, baseless finger pointing by dishonest people like Moore. And I’m not normally a big Malkin fan. She’s much farther right than I am, but everything in her piece is sourced and factual. I thank her and her staff for doing that research so fast, and I can only imagine it was done because she was as angry as I was that people would try to play politics with such a tragedy.

I thought Bill O’Reilly was brilliant in his analysis, and you can watch that video HERE (couldn’t get the embed to work).

–I find it disturbing that Arnold Schwarzenegger just came out and claimed that his tenure as California governor cost him $200 million in lost income and personal expenses. Meanwhile, during this time, California went how many billions more into debt? Not the wisest thing to say in public, Ahnuld. Oh woe is not you.

-Lastly, I find it disturbing that I have to wait until 2012 to see all the amazing movies that are coming out in 2012. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

“Life’s a bitch, naw betta yet a dumb broad/ I bet I could fuck the world and make it cum hard” – Lil’ Weezy!, from his seminal song “Gonorrhea” (Ladies, next time you wanna use an inspirational Lil’ Wayne quote, keep in mind what he really thinks of women)