BIGGIE’S BABES 2014

WARNING! This post can be considered NSFW depending on where you W.

Welcome to Biggie’s Babes! I decided to dust off one of my old annual lists for you guys. I don’t do this post to show off my writing skills or to display any brainpower whatsoever. It’s simply a list of women in the entertainment industry I currently find the most attractive. It’s nice to write something with the neanderthal side of my brain every now and again.

But first, as always, some perspective. I haven’t made this list since 2011, and I haven’t published it online since back in my MySpace blogging days, where it was usually fairly popular amongst my friends. Now I share it with the world entire, primarily because I’ve had some serious writer’s block lately and haven’t had much else to blog about. When I first created this list as a teenager in 1998(!), Jennifer Love Hewitt was my inaugural #1 (if you’ve forgotten how hot she was in the late 90’s, shame on you). After that, I became the conductor of the Jessica Alba bandwagon (she may have been the hottest female ever in her prime). Alba took the #1 spot every year but one between 1999 and 2005. I can’t explain in words how much I worshipped this girl back in the day. She was easily the biggest celebrity crush of my life. In fact, I vividly remember first spotting her in the TRAILER for that awful Drew Barrymore romcom Never Been Kissed in 1999 and deciding immediately I had to find out who this girl was. However, I eventually became incredibly frustrated with her after it became clear she was never going to have a great acting career (and after she got married- gross!), at which point I turned my eyes to Jessica Biel (#1 in ’06, ’07 and ’08). Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears were also consistently near the top of the list in their heydays. I was also in love with that model Kim Smith. I’m actually having a blast looking back at the old lists as I write this, but I’ll digress…

KIM SMITH, circa 2000
Remember her? Whahappened?!

Previously, the list has been in preferential order (usually as a top 25), but this time around I’m listing my top 30 celebrity crushes in A-B-C order. All of these women are attractive to me for multiple reasons, not just their looks- but for the sake of this post, I’m gonna post a bunch of pretty pictures of em anyway. It’s always been my theory that every attractive woman is some mixture of cute, beautiful or hot. For example, I always found Eliza Dushku insanely cute, Marion Cotillard is otherworldly beautiful and Megan Fox was the epitome of hot for 2 or 3 years. Of course, you could say everyone on this list is beautiful or hot in a broader sense, but to me each word has a different meaning. It speaks not only to their looks, but also their public persona via their career choices, and whatever we can discern of their personality from interviews, behind-the-scenes content or how they participate in social media.

To qualify for this list, she must 21 years of age, and must be relatively famous in one way or another. If you’re only famous on the internet for having an incredible ass, you don’t count. Sorry, Jen Selter and Sophie Turner (the model, not the Game of Thrones actress).

Ages shown are how old each lady turns in calendar year 2014. After that, I list what each of them is known for professionally, and then what mixture I think they are between beautiful, cute and hot. And yes, it’s completely arbitrary in the end, but these are the vibes I get from these women from afar, and it’s my damn list, so eat it. This will probably be the last time I do this list (or at least the last time I share it publicly), so enjoy. This is also the rare post where I’ll get a little raunchy in my presentation. Treasure these moments.

O, HAI‘s all around!

(As always, click on any photo to view the full-size version. Some of the smaller versions do not do these ladies justice.)

THE FAMOUS WOMEN I LOVE, CIRCA 2014

1. GEMMA ARTERTON (age 28, actress) – 50% beautiful/50% hot

The first of many of my British-born crushes, Gemma first came to my attention in Guy Ritchie‘s RocknRolla, but came to everyone’s attention as one of the Bond Girls in Quantum of Solace. Has there ever been a hotter corpse than when they discover her dead naked body covered in oil? Was that a creepy thing to ask? Do I give a shit? Unfortunately, she’s never been in a truly great movie, so I don’t know if she’s an above average actress. It would be nice to find out one day. Fun fact: she was born with a condition called polydactyly (6 fingers on each hand), which was surgically repaired as an infant. And now you’ll never look at her again without that mental image. You’re welcome.

I’d lick it. I would. Sue me.

2. IGGY AZALEA (age 24, musician) – 100% hot

Who’d have thought that an Australian girl influenced by Tupac and Missy Elliott using a Southern accent in her music would be the most popular female rapper in the world in 2014? I’ve only ever heard 3 or 4 of her songs, and don’t love any of them, but she’s definitely got some skill. At the time of this writing, she also has the top 2 singles in America (the ubiquitous “Fancy” and a collaboration with that Ariana Grande chick, “Problem”), which I guess makes her kind of a big deal. What she also has is a world-famous arse and a drop dead gorgeous face. On the downside, it’s extremely unattractive that she’s dating Los Angeles Lakers player Nick Young, who seems to be one of the biggest tools in the NBA (as evidenced by the fact that his self-given nickname is “Swaggy P”). The worst part is they met by his flirting with her via Twitter. That shit actually works? Sometimes, I feel like I was born 10 years too early.

3. KATE BECKINSALE (age 41, actress) – 85% hot/15% beautiful

She’s the oldest gal on this list by one year, but age hasn’t slowed down Kate Beckinsale’s hotness one bit (though I’m not assuming anything, lord knows what kind of work she’s had done). In fact, doing my research, she first appeared on this list in 2003, and was on it almost every year hence. So hooray for consistency, Kate! As constant as the Northern Star! She’s just as smokin hot now as she 8-10 years ago, and her leather bodysuit in the Underworld movies remains one of the sexiest costumes in cinematic history. If I could take home one movie character for one night, it might be her (I don’t remember her character’s name because those movies are awful). The trouble is she’s a much better actress than her filmography would tell you. For whatever reason (the allure of money and bad career advice, I’m guessing), she’s stuck in this mode where she’s still trying to be an action star. Meanwhile, she was excellent in dramas like The Aviator and Rod Lurie‘s Nothing But the Truth (which nobody but me and 8 other people saw). If she ever gives up on trying to be a Movie Star and settles on being an actress, she’s still got a lot of potential.

4. LAKE BELL (age 35, actress) – 60% cute/40% beautiful

I don’t know when I first noticed Ms. Bell, but it was several years ago for sure. I’ve kinda sorta followed her career as she popped up in various supporting roles, and always liked her when I saw her, but it wasn’t until her recurring role on HBO’s short-lived series How to Make It in America that I finally fell head over heels in love with her. She’s got a unique look to her that’s always stuck out to me. She’s tall at 5-8 (by Hollywood standards), has an incredible body, and comes across as a regular girl outside of her work. That sticks out among her peers. I’m still waiting to see her get a strong lead role, but I’m happy whenever I get to see her, on TV or on the big screen. She wrote and made her directorial debut on last year’s well-received indie comedy In a World…, which I still need to check out. Sadly for those of us who adore her, she’s now married and pregnant. The nerve!

Don’t ya just LOVE bodypaint? So much…art.

5. JESSICA CHASTAIN (age 37, actress) – 100% beautiful

There is no actress I enjoy watching more right now than Jessica Chastain, who exploded onto the scene out of nowhere in 2010-11 (and was the 2012 Biggies Best Actress winner for Zero Dark Thirty). Her talent is matched only by her beauty, and the combination of the two makes her incomparably fascinating to watch. She’s been working pretty much nonstop since 2010, and I can’t wait to see her in two of this fall’s most interesting films; Christopher Nolan‘s Interstellar (in which she likely has only a small role) and A Most Violent Year, the third film from director J.C. Chandor (Margin Call, All Is Lost). Then she’s lined up for several more projects in 2015 and beyond. She’s been nominated for 2 Oscars already, and it’s only a matter of time before she gets that win. I love this girl and I love her FABULOUS hair.

6. ALEXANDRA DADDARIO (age 28, actress) – 80% beautiful/20% cute

Wasdklt34r98fgdfkbslrt43216ZWERL. Amirite?!

She possesses the single most incredible pair of eyes I’ve ever seen. Period. End of story. I think she is the primary reason I now prefer girls with blue eyes. Despite her brief work on True Detective (in which she had one of the more “holy shit where did THAT come from” nude scenes in recent memory), I’m still not sure how good an actress she is (she’s been in a LOT of bad movies), but the exposure from that show (pun intended) should at least help get her some better opportunities going forward. So I hope, anyway. Really though, I would show up to a theater and pay just to have her cleansing stare penetrate my soul for a few minutes.

7. JENNY DELL (age 27, sports reporter) – 100% hot

The epitome of the “hot sideline reporter” trend, Dell was the latest in the grand tradition of NESN field reporters covering the Red Sox. I say was because due to her relationship with Red Sox infielder Will Middlebrooks, she was forced out of her position (conflict of interest, much?) and has now left NESN altogether. This is shitty news for Boston fans, but it may soon be the rest of America’s gain if she lands a job at a national network. I moved away from Massachusetts long before she got the gig, so I never got to see her “work” on a nightly basis or in person at Fenway, but I was made aware of her from her many fans on the internet (most notably Barstool Sports). I don’t want to sound like a pig, but I honestly don’t know how any player was able to keep from drooling while being interviewed by her. She didn’t dress business casual, she dressed “business holy shit look at that outfit!”

UPDATE: As I was finishing up this post, Dell announced that she will be joining CBS sports as a sideline reporter for NFL games this fall. This is a win for America.

8. KAT DENNINGS (age 28, actress) – 75% cute/25% hot

If I had done this list in preferential order as I’ve done previously, Kat Dennings would probably have been #1 this year. I can’t even describe what it is about her (beautiful face, amazing red lips, huge boobs, incredibly sexy long hair, blue eyes), but I find her endlessly fascinating. Her character in the Thor movies is fucking adorable, but I’ll be honest, other than her bit part in The 40 Year-Old Virgin (back when she was 19), those are the only projects I’ve seen her in. Sad face. I haven’t seen a minute of 2 Broke Girls, because, well, it looks dumb and I hate sitcoms. I would like to see her do more interesting stuff, but she hasn’t done the best job of choosing projects in the last 5 years (or her representation sucks). The only other explanation I can come up with is that there must be a perception that she isn’t the best actress, because I see no other reason why she hasn’t been in other high-profile films. Someone give this girl a chance! BEWBS.

9. NATALIE DORMER (age 32, actress) – 65% beautiful/35% hot

I love Natalie Dormer Pouty Face.

Like most people, the first time I really took notice of this British stunner was on Game of Thrones, where she plays Margaery Tyrell, one of the few semi-noble characters on the show. She was also fantastic in two bit film parts last year in Rush and The Counselor. However, she’s about to become known to EVERYONE ELSE when she turns up in both Hunger Games: Mockingjay movies as Cressida (whoever the fuck that is). She has a classic beauty to her perfectly suited to period projects, but looks equally adept playing a modern character. That’s not an easy thing to pull off (for example: I dare you right now to imagine Julia Roberts in a classic 1800’s dress- it doesn’t compute). It’s about time for Ms. Dormer to start getting roles higher up the depth chart, because she’s certainly talented enough for it.

And have you SEEN how hot she looks with her Hunger Games haircut?

10. NATHALIE EMMANUEL (age 25, actress) – 90% beautiful/10% cute

We’re on our 4th British babe already. One more reason to be thankful for Game of Thrones, where we were introduced to this beauty last season as The Mother of Dragon‘s right-hand woman/translator, Missandei. The rest of the world will become familiarized with her next April when she appears in whatever the hell they’re gonna call the 7th Fast & Furious movie. After that, a long and prosperous career I see. I don’t typically favor girls with big curly hair, but this young lady is a worthy exception. She’s also a good follow on Instagram, if you’re into that sort of thing.

11. AMBER HEARD (age 28, actress/model) – 75% hot/25% beautiful

Amber Heard confuses me. So she “came out” in 2010 at a GLAAD event (to the heart piercing pain of men everywhere), and now cut ahead 4 years and she’s happily engaged to Johnny Depp, a man, who she’s apparently been dating since 2012. I think I’d rather her be a lesbian than be in a long term relationship with that weirdo. Annnyway, I don’t like talking celebrity gossip so we’ll move on. Bottom line is that Amber Heard is one of the most attractive females I’ve ever seen. She first got my attention in 2011’s so-bad-it’s-good film Drive Angry with Nicolas Cage (seriously, watch it, preferably in some kind of altered state), where she was featured prominently looking like a goddess in short shorts and cowboy boots. Since then, she’s gone on to look incredibly hot in several other films and on many red carpets, but it seems more and more like she’s always going to be a better model than an actress. And that’s fine, of course. (Note: she’s one of those rare women who looks just as good blonde as she does when she colors her hair brunette. Just sayin.) She was incredibly sexy earlier this year giving a mediocre performance in the abominably bad 3 Days to Kill. I guess I’m just really disappointed that a girl this attractive isn’t at least a decent actress. I want to see her, but I don’t want to have to continue seeing shitty movies in order to do so. Conundrum!

12. FELICITY JONES (age 31, actress) – 75% cute/25% beautiful

She’s like the British version of Zooey Deschanel: cute beyond description, but with a tinge of exquisite beauty mixed in. I love that combo. I watched the ultra-low budget romance Like Crazy a couple years ago and thought she was marvelous in it. She was also damned good in another indie last year called Breathe In, where she plays an exchange student who screws up the dynamics of her host family when she and the host father fall for each other. A nicely done little movie that I chose to watch 70% just to see her, and 30% because I love me some Guy Pearce. Ms. Jones is the girl on the list who least looks her age. She’s 31, but if you told me beforehand that she was 23 I’d have believed it. She has that IT factor where you can’t take your eyes off her. And she has that LIP factor where you just wanna kiss her. Yes, that joke was so bad that I left it in. You’re welcome.

13. ALEXIS KNAPP (age 25, actress) – 80% hot/20% cute

Perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of Project X (one of my 10 favorite films of 2012) was discovering Alexis Knapp, whom I had literally never seen prior to that movie. In about 3 minutes of combined screen time spread throughout the film, she turned in one of the sexiest performances in a mainstream film in years. I didn’t only think it was incredibly hot; I was truly impressed by her on-screen confidence. You can’t fake that. I suppose she’s best known now for her supporting role in the instant cult classic Pitch Perfect, but to me she didn’t really stand out there, as she’s mostly standing in the background nodding her head or singing; a recurring extra, basically. That’s a complete waste of her screen presence. I want to know if she has the talent to stand front and center, because I think she might. Or it could be as simple as the fact that I’m entranced by her dark hair and blue eyes. I haven’t ruled that out.

I’m next!

14. ROONEY MARA (age 29, actress) – 100% beautiful

Rooney Mara is one of those actresses who I wouldn’t mind seeing in every movie from now til the end of my days. Her breakthrough performance in Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is one for the ages, and it’s one of the reasons a sequel, however unlikely at this point, is one of the unproduced movies I most want to see made. Sadly, she hasn’t been given a role in the 3 years since of anywhere near that quality, and the next big studio project she has lined up is playing Tiger Lily in the 4,781st incarnation of Peter Pan, this one brilliantly titled Pan (although with the great Joe Wright at the helm, there’s some hope).

15. RACHEL McADAMS (age 35, actress) – 50% beautiful/50% cute

Can you believe The Notebook and Mean Girls, the films that per on the map, both came out 10 friggin years ago? I think McAdams is a dreadfully underutilized actress, and I’ve thought she was one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood since she broke out in those two 2004 films. At this point, she’s been in enough hits and has enough talent that she ought to be getting some of these Oscar-bait roles that almost always go to people like Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams. Dear people who cast movies: let’s mix it up a little here. K THX

Personal note: I saw her in person once while working at the ArcLight Hollywood in 2007, and she’s just as cute in real life. She also possesses one of the most underrated posteriors in the game. Just sayin, fellas.

16. OLIVIA MUNN (age 34, actress) – 60% hot/40% cute

Until The Newsroom debuted 2 summers ago, Olivia Munn had always been one of those random hot chicks who seemed to be famous for no reason in particular. I couldn’t tell you one thing she had appeared in or done prior, but I knew she was popular on the internet. As such, she was never really on my radar because I dislike internet celebrities that aren’t grumpy cats. Then Aaron Sorkin cast her on his show, and I find out not only is she just as drop dead gorgeous as the hype, but she can act, too! In fact, Sloan Sabbith is probably my favorite character on that show. At this point in my life, I have no desire whatsoever to get married, but if there actually is a girl out there this beautiful and this sexy who’s also as smart as she is on that show, well that’s the kinda girl who I could “settle down” with. But sadly, as we know, nobody is as smart and well-spoken in real life as even an average Aaron Sorkin character.

17. NORAH O’DONNELL (age 40, news anchor) – 100% beautiful

Of course, hot reporter babes are all the rage right now, be it sideline reporters in sports or news anchors, but CBS News’ Norah O’Donnell is sexy without trying. She’s just friggin beautiful, and she possesses some of the most incredible blue eyes you’ll ever see (are we sensing a theme yet?). I watch the CBS Evening News fairly regularly (I have ever since my boy Scott Pelley took over a couple years ago), and while O’Donnell was a correspondent, I would frequently tune out what she was saying because I had become entranced by her eyes. She should take that as a compliment.

18. BRITTNEY PALMER (age 27, model/UFC ring girl) – 100% hot

I don’t watch UFC, so I didn’t become aware of her until I saw some other random list of hot chicks somewhere online (which I guess means I’m now paying it forward in case you’d never heard of her). Needless to say, I’m thankful to whoever put that list together. This chick be SMOKIN. I started following her on Instagram (cuz what else is Instagram for?) and have since learned she’s actually a pretty good painter as well. It’s always nice to find a hot chick with an artistic side.

19. KATY PERRY (age 30, singer/model/budding actress) – 90% hot/10% cute

The last time I did this list, Katy Perry landed in the top spot. It’s unfortunate that she seems to have pretty shitty taste in men, but that can be corrected. Thankfully, she’s not all looks. Her music is actually pretty good! And she can sing! Now, you won’t catch me at a Katy Perry concert or jamming to her music on my iPod at the gym, but when I hear her stuff out in public, it doesn’t make me want to go on a shooting rampage. Sadly, this is the standard by which I judge today’s pop music. Does hearing a song make me want to commit homicide?

It seems like she wants to get into acting (does voice acting in the Smurfs movies actually count?), but it’s too early to tell what her potential is in that arena. I think she’s too good a performer for some of that not to translate to acting. I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough. Katy is another girl on this list with magnificent eyes. The older I get, the more I find myself being attracted to beautiful eyes.

Blue hair, don’t care. Still adore her.

I’d love to post 50 photos of Perry in her trademark latex dresses, but I’ll restrain myself to just two:

20. EMILY RATAJKOWSKI (age 23, model, budding actress) – 100% hot

BAM! Anyone who didn’t know who this UK-born stunner was prior to last year surely had that changed for them after the release of the semi-controversial music video for Robin Thicke‘s smash hit, “Blurred Lines”, which features Ratajkowski topless early and often. She has since gone on to do many high-profile modeling shoots, including a delicious spread in this year’s SI Swimsuit Issue [PLEASE HAVE A LOOK-SEE]. Even better news; she has a small role in David Fincher‘s Gone Girl this October. I don’t know if she can act, but if she was just a pretty face, she wouldn’t have made the cut in a Fincher movie. Count on that.

21. MARGOT ROBBIE (age 24, actress) – 100% hot

Uhhmmm…did ya SEE Wolf of Wall Street? I will say nothing else except that I need to see more of her ASAP. What a discovery. And she’s Australian. Bonus.

22. DEBBY RYAN (age 21, actress) – 100% cute

I don’t know a goddamn thing about her other than she’s another product of The Disney Channel’s Hottie Factory, but I randomly saw a picture of her online last year, and I now know enough. My radar, Debby. You’re on it.

23. ZOE SALDANA (age 36, actress) – 100% beautiful

I’ve been a fan of hers since her very first movie, Center Stage in 2000, and have since seen her develop into a fine actress. She’s on the precipice of becoming a true movie star, but holding her back is the fact that she’s rarely the lead in her films. She’s got the talent to make it happen, but hasn’t gotten enough chances to shine on her own. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed Columbiana, which was the last time she got to headline a mainstream film. Of course, she’s best known for playing the hottest alien in movie history, Avatar‘s Neytiri (a superb performance that earned her a Best Actress nomination at the Biggies). Maybe this is what she wants, but to me it’s a shame that she’s become sort of pigeonholed as the sci-fi action heroine. I think she’s capable of much more, but sadly, we won’t get to see her do much else anytime soon, since she’ll be working on the stupid Avatar sequels for the next couple years. Then, if there’s a Guardians of the Galaxy sequel, she’ll be locked in to that as well. Not to mention whenever they get around to making a third Star Trek movie (this time without J.J. Abrams at the helm). This means she’ll likely be 40 before she gets another shot at a true leading role. Ugh.

24. CANDICE SWANEPOEL (age 25, model) – 50% hot/50% beautiful

What is it with South African blondes? Where is this factory they’re made in, and how can I order one? She is without a doubt my favorite supermodel at the moment. Perhaps you’ll recognize her…

Candice Swanepoel Victoria's Secret Dec 2013_12

Has DiCaprio dated her yet?

25. TAYLOR SWIFT (age 25, musician/budding actress) – 60% beautiful/40% cute

I didn’t care for her at all a few years ago, but as she’s gotten a little older, I’m finding her more and more irresistible. Every time I see some random behind-the-scenes footage of her, she seems like a pretty cool girl despite her immense wealth and fame; always a plus. I can honestly say I haven’t listened to a single song of hers from start to finish, but I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to the idea. I like her personal fashion style in the candid shots you see online, and she always looks phenomenal in a dress at awards shows. She also probably has the most beautiful eyes of anyone on this list not named Alexandra Daddario. I’d love to see her do some more acting, but she’s understandably still very busy with that whole music thing.

This. Dress.

Her. Face. That. Dress.

26. KATE UPTON (age 22, model) – 65% hot/35% cute

I can’t believe she’s only 22. It feels like she’s been a big deal for 5 or 6 years now, but I guess it’s only been 3 or 4. What do I know? I respect the fact that she’s made it to the top of her field without being your typical super skinny supermodel. She also seems to be a really cool, down-to-Earth chick. And eat shit, Justin Verlander. A $180 million contract and you’re with Kate Upton? I don’t get jealous easily, but Jesus, man. Enough already. Does your shit even stink, bro?

What was I saying about bodypaint, again?
Oh yeah…LOVE IT.

27. OLIVIA WILDE (age 30, actress) – 100% beautiful

Typically, a pregnancy would automatically disqualify you from this list. However, I’m going to make an exception here because I’ve been fascinated by Olivia Wilde’s beauty for 4 or 5 years now, and she deserves to be recognized, even if she was impregnated by and currently engaged to Jason Sudekis. (Seeing a woman this incredible come off the market so thoroughly is often a death blow to her desirability, but I have to respect that people need to live their lives. Or something.) Thankfully, that pregnancy thing is over (congratulations and stuff!) and she can soon return to being her stunning self (I hope). I’ve thought for a while that she’s actually a pretty decent actress, but it’s been troubling seeing her make mostly bad choices when it comes to roles. She’s had good supporting roles in some fantastic films (In Time, Rush, Her), but when she gets to be the top-billed female, the results haven’t been great (Tron, Cowboys & Aliens, The Change-Up). I guess what I’m saying is I’m rooting for her to do better, because I think she has the talent. Interesting note: her real last name is Cockburn. I’ll just leave that there for you.

28. ALLISON WILLIAMS (age 26, actress) – 100% beautiful

If this isn’t proof positive that rich people have prettier children, I don’t know what is. If I were a female, I would find it unfair how beautiful Allison Williams is. It’s so unfair that I might consult an attorney to find out if there was someone I could sue over it. Williams has established herself as a pretty good actress on HBO’s Girls (she’s one of the only reasons I stuck around with that show after a very disappointing season 2), but fair or not she’s still known best as being NBC News anchor Brian Williams‘ daughter (which I’m sure had absolutely nothing to do with her being able to break into the industry). She seems to have some genuine talent, but I need to see her in some other shows or movies to know for sure, and Girls is basically the only thing she’s acted in since the show debuted in 2012.

HBO Hosts The Premiere of "Girls" Season 2 - Outside Arrivals

29. MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD (age 30, actress) – 80% beautiful/20% cute

I’ve thought she was gorgeous since first noticing her as Bruce Wilis‘ daughter in Live Free or Die Hard (that’s the 4th one in case you lost track) back in ’07 and then again in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. But it was her performance in Smashed in 2012 where we learned that she has the acting talent to match her looks, as she went minimal/no makeup to play a drunken school teacher. It was a fearless performance, and I look forward to seeing her in more great roles like that going forward.

30. DEBORAH ANN WOLL (age 29, actress) – 75% hot/25% beautiful

I don’t even watch True Blood, but I know she’s on it, and I know she’s my favorite redhead on the planet not named Chastain. Add to that the fact that her piercing blue eyes could slice your soul in half and you have one uniquely beautiful woman. How has this girl not yet made a successful transition to movies?

HONORABLE MENTION:

MILEY CYRUS’ TONGUE (age 22, performer) – 100% yes please

She sticks it out so frequently that it’s kinda creepy (and god knows where it’s been), but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be put to good use. IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN. The thing’s got its own website, so it must be doing something right.

Jesus.

10 RUNNERS-UP:

JAIMIE ALEXANDER (age 30, actress), EMILY BROWNING (age 26, actress), EVA GREEN (age 34, actress/model), ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELY (age 27, model/budding actress), JENNIFER LAWRENCE (age 24, actress), BLAKE LIVELY (age 27, actress), KATE MARA (age 31, actress), ALEX MORGAN (age 25, U.S. soccer player), EMMY ROSSUM (age 28, actress), SARA UNDERWOOD (age 30, model/TV “personality”)

Jaimie Alexander ruining lives at the Thor: Dark World premiere.

This Eva Green Sin City poster is all the rage right now.

If there were an Oscar for modeling, J-Law could win that, too.

UNDER-21 COMING IN HOT! ADELE EXARCHOPOULOS (turns 21 November 22), SAOIRSE RONAN (age 20), ANNASOPHIA ROBB (turns 21 December 8), SOPHIE TURNER (actress, age 18), BARBARA PALVIN (turns 21 October 8)