BIGGIE'S PLACE

And now for something a little more personal. I’ve been thinking about this topic for many years, and the older I get the more I find myself grappling with it. For whatever reason, it only now occurred to me to try and put these thoughts into words. So here goes nothin…

As I enter my mid-40s, I find myself frequently thinking about my age and how it relates to my interactions with the world around me. And by frequently I mean just about every single day. What should I have accomplished by now? What could I have accomplished by now had I made different choices in my teens and twenties? What have people I’ve known accomplished already that I haven’t? One or several of those questions pops up in my head almost daily, and I don’t have a therapist to tell me what that means. Is this what a midlife crisis looks like? I don’t know. Until I can afford a therapist, writing will continue to be the awkwardly shaped but comfortable chair I lay down and express myself on.

One thing I’ve always believed without hesitation is that I’m extremely grateful to have been born when I was, in 1980. I think people in my age range have had a unique experience in that we grew up with the old ways of doing so many things that are now obsolete, yet we were young enough to adapt to technology and its impact on society as it has evolved. Humanity has advanced more rapidly in the past 30 years than it did in the thousands of years of our species’ existence beforehand. That’s a fairly daunting thing to ponder.

Here are some things that only people of my generation have hands-on experience with:

–The entire progression of the Internet. This is the single biggest series of events because it impacts almost everything else I’ll talk about below. I was 15 the first time I tried AOL, which was my introduction to the internet. I can still recall my utter amazement at browsing the internet in the early days of Instant Messenger, message boards, and the few websites that were already up and running. Being suddenly able to communicate with anyone anywhere who had the same technology and interests as you was a sensation I’ll never forget. It’s one that we now of course take completely for granted as we’ve become saturated with options, so many you could never see them all. And it truly was the wild west in those early years before strict moderation became standard practice across the board. You can’t even curse in an Instagram or YouTube comment nowadays or it will be shadowbanned. I can look back now and laugh at my family fighting over AOL time and the inconvenience to my mother of tying up the goddamn phone line at night. Back then these felt like life and death struggles. I saw dial-up convert to modems and internet cables and that convert to wifi with ever-increasing speeds.

I remember when a website would take 15-20 seconds to load, if it loaded at all. You didn’t just hit enter and the entire page popped up immediately, as we now expect. We’re moving so fast now that websites themselves are becoming obsolete to mobile apps. I would still rather browse the internet on my laptop with a bigger screen and a real keyboard. That is not the case with Gen-Z kids, who use their phones or tablets almost exclusively for all internet browsing.

Kids growing up now expect to have access to everything everywhere all at once. It wasn’t long ago that that would be viewed as unrealistic. Now, I get angry paying for 5G when you only get full 5G service in busy areas (the same went for 4G and LTE). I get pissed at home if my download speed is ever below 400mb/sec. Just like anyone else, I want it now and I want it fast. Which, by the way, we ought to expect because that’s exactly what we’re all paying for. I digress.

–The entire history of video games. I started playing video games in the mid-80’s during the original Nintendo days, and because of those decades of experience, I can still keep up with a lot of the kids now in games like Call of Duty. I owned an original Nintendo, Super NES, original PlayStation, PS2, then skipped about a decade and transitioned to XBOX 360, an XBOX One, and now the current generation of consoles with an XBOX Series X. I think that’s pretty cool. The only video game experience I’ve never really had is owning a badass PC gaming setup. I’ve never cared for VR stuff, even when it was first attempted years ago. If that hasn’t become mainstream by now, will it ever? Of course, people older than me would say someone my age shouldn’t have the time to play video games, but most of those people have hated the idea of video games for 30 years, so fuck’m. I find most people who rail against video games are people who never played them growing up. It’s not a coincidence.

If you didn’t play Super Mario Bros. and Contra as a kid, you don’t have the same appreciation for what games can do today. I’ve been playing the Madden NFL games since 1999, longer than tens of millions of today’s kids have been alive.

Oh yeah, and I was a kid when ARCADES were the place to go with your friends. Young people, imagine if the only way to play games with and against people you didn’t know was to leave your house to go PAY to play video games in a store that barely had any lights in the middle of a strip mall. Nowadays, if a kid goes into a place matching that description a parent might be tempted to call the police out of concern for their child’s safety. And for the most part, you had to stand up the entire time while at the arcade (unless you were playing a racing game). It happened, and it was awesome. When my mom would hand me a $20 bill and turn my friends and I loose at the arcade, those were some of the best days of my youth. Most of these streaming kids today with their $300 gaming chairs, $800 headphones, $4,000 PC setups and neon lights in the background of their room have no perspective. Playing videos games as a full-time job was not possible until I was about 30.

–Nearly the complete evolution of how media is made and consumed. As in, how we watch TV and movies, listen to music and the radio, or read books. I’ve owned a record player, a cassette player, a cassette Walkman, a CD player, a CD Walkman (MANY portable CD players), an iPod, and a smartphone. Kids today have never had a collection of physical media. I’ve owned thousands of records, CDs, VHS tapes, DVDs, Blu-rays, and all manner of physical copies of video games. Again, if you haven’t done these things, how can you appreciate what you have now? How can you look at music the same way if you never made a mix tape or CD, or needed a 300-CD binder to bring your entire collection around with you in the car? How can you know what a movie is if the way you watch them most of the time is on a tablet or phone? I’m proud I don’t have to answer that question.

Sidebar: I know everybody says this as they get older, but yeah, the music of my youth WAS better than the music of today. This can’t be argued. It’s un-fucking-deniable. The 90’s and early 2000’s were peak for several genres of music. 90% of modern rap is absolute trash. Hip-hop will never be better than it was from say ’92-’99. Rock music was commercially viable back then, and we had the widest variety of rock music styles that will likely ever exist. Our pop music was great, R&B actually existed, and in movies, most of the best film composers to ever live were doing their best work (John Williams, James Horner, Jerry Goldsmith, Thomas Newman among others) while the greatest composer currently active (Hans Zimmer) was doing the work that would catapult him to prominence. No generation in their teens and early twenties had it better than we did. *END TANGENT*

Audiobooks and tablet reading is pretty much the standard way to experience a book now. I’ve seen listening to the radio evolve into podcasts. (And I still find it ironic that PODcasts are named after a technology, the iPod, that is now defunct.)

People my age spent half their lives with non-HD television programming, but were still young when HD became the norm. This is the recurring pattern: being there for all these massive technological transitions and being able to adapt to them is something only my generation can talk about from first-hand experience. I used to deliver new LCD & plasma TVs to people for Best Buy as everyone was transitioning away from bulky CRTs. You try explaining to a 60-year old in 2005 how to set up a flatscreen TV and connect their cable box to it.

Network TV exists now almost exclusively for older audiences who don’t want to deal with streaming services and is otherwise dominated by reality TV and competition shows (which the streamers have only recently started emulating). For my ilk, “reality tv” was The Real World on MTV in the 90’s. Now, there are reality shows for every lifestyle and profession you can think of and every human act that can be filmed and shown on TV. Concerts are still thriving, but when you look at these crowds, you see 90% of them are holding their phones up for the entire show. Being in the moment is not something young people are used to doing. If they’re not sharing it on social media, it didn’t happen.

To my great sadness, going to the movies has changed drastically over the years. I grew up with auditorium-style theaters with uncomfortable seats, and the only way to get the seat you wanted was to show up early to buy tickets (from a cashier!) for a show you knew would sell out, and then arrive early again to get the best seats. Now, nearly every theater has stadium seating, has some kind of luxury option to have food and drink brought to you in your seat, and you pick your seats in advance so you can show up 10 minutes before the movie starts and not have to worry about finding a seat. When I was a teenager, these things would have seemed ludicrous.

Some of the greatest experiences of my life were waiting overnight at my local theater to get the best seats for opening night of movies like Star Wars: The Phantom Menace or the Lord of the Rings movies. My friends and I did that multiple times. It sucked to wait but you had several amazing hours of bonding with your friends (without the convenience of being able to stare at your phone the entire time you waited) and with random strangers around you who were there for the same purpose. And those premieres started at midnight, so by the time you finally got home at nearly 3am after the movie, you’d been awake for 14-20 hours straight. Seeing these big movies the right way on opening night with the best crowds was a serious time commitment. Now, every movie basically opens on a Thursday and you can see it at 7pm with no worries, no lines for seats, and no need to interact with other human beings around you. My friends and I were on the local news multiple times for being “first in line” at some of these huge event movies. That kind of thing will never happen again.

(I was able to dig up these photos below of the line outside my local theater, 30 minutes outside Boston, where I also happened to work at the time, as people set up camp the day before The Phantom Menace debuted in May 1999. My friends and I were amongst this gathering, and it was some of the most fun I’ve ever had.)

The only movies now that get people out of the house are the ones you’re convinced you have to see immediately that won’t be available at home. And horror movies for whatever reason. That’s why every ad for upcoming movies includes “coming soon only to movie theaters.” They have to state that prominently to remind people if you want to see this first and be part of the conversation, you have to get your ass out to the theater. It’s why tickets for big movies go on sale a month (or longer in some cases) in advance, to get you to commit to it as early as possible. This wasn’t necessary 25 years ago, because nobody could choose instead to lay on their couch in their underoos and scroll worthless social media videos for hours instead. The amount of options we have now for entertainment is great, no doubt, but only those above a certain age realize what the consequences to that have been. I think we’re less than a decade away from seeing movie theaters become a niche industry, and that literally makes me want to cry.

I’ve lived to see nearly all of media become democratized, which, in theory, is a great thing. On the flip side, there are now a LOT of people recording “comedy” skits on their phones who think they’re born entertainers and clearly aren’t. This ability to put yourself out there doesn’t mean you’ll ever have an audience, but you COULD. You can have your own radio show (podcast), your own TV show (YouTube), you can make your own movies, you can publish your own music, and you can publish your own e-book. However, that still comes with the downside of being beholden to the rules of the platforms you use to put out your “content”.

About the only things I didn’t experience were the days when radio was how you got your news and the time when TV was only black & white with three channel options. I’m not that fucking old. Now, they say TikTok is where most young people get their news. That means they’re likely not getting it from actual journalists and are constantly exposed to bias, which has resulted in an ignorant society that isn’t even interested in the concept of objectivity in news.

Oh yeah, I also read newspapers and had magazine subscriptions before the internet destroyed those institutions. A magazine used to be only thing you thought of when you heard the word subscription. Now your entire life and much of our economy revolves around the dozens of services you’re subscribed to. There was a time when you had to wait to get certain information. There was even a time when more than half the country believed what they were told was happening in the world and didn’t seek out information only from people who agreed with them politically. Incredible, huh? Now, half the country lives in their own reality, and that ain’t good.

I’ve had a pager, a flip phone, and 6 or 7 smartphones, seeing their improvements and how they’ve changed society (for better and for worse) along the way. You only have to age up about 10-15 years above me to find the age range where a lot people struggle with modern technology or don’t care enough to learn it, oftentimes out of spite. A lot of these people, most of them probably, still need to work in a world increasingly relying on tablets and phones to accomplish many of their daily tasks. I’ve worked with many people not much older than me who have a really hard time with that stuff. But the world is not going to slow down for them and they will still need to earn a living a decade from now.

I’m glad there were no smartphones or social media when I was in high school, that’s for damn sure.

I often wonder if I were 20 right now, would I be trying to be a social media star and have a YouTube channel? I liked being on camera when I was that age, so I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t, but I’d still like to think with my personality I’d still view some of that stuff as utterly worthless garbage in the big picture.

-This won’t be as important to people outside New England, but being from the Boston area I got to be young during the great Boston sports dynasty of 2001-2019. The 2001 Patriots, the 2004 Red Sox, the 2008 Celtics, winning all four major sports titles at least once, contending many other times, two Patriots dynasties, a total of 12 championships in 18 years (6 Patriots, 4 Red Sox, 1 each Bruins & Celtics). No one who will live from now until I die will likely be able to say they saw their city experience that much sports success in that that short a time frame. And I got to watch it all live as a young man. I will never take that for granted. I think if I’d experienced this as a little kid or as a middle-aged man, it wouldn’t have been the same.

–I’ve been alive to witness some important world history. It’s crazy to me that there are millions of kids now who were born after 9/11 and view it like I view World War II or Vietnam. How does someone under 30 now understand the world they live in when they can’t fathom from experience how much the world changed after that day? 9/11 was the reason I started following the news and the first time I became interested in what was happening in Washington. What motivates young people today to do the same? Speaking of that day, 9/11 happened longer ago now than the Kennedy assassination did when I was born. That’s fucking CRAZY.

Some other huge news events off the top of my head: the Berlin Wall fell when I was a kid. The Challenger space shuttle disaster (though I was only 6, I do vaguely remember that day), the O.J. Simpson trial, the Oklahoma City bombing, and the Columbine shootings in 1999, which was basically the origin story for all of the school shootings we’ve had since.

On an even more personal front, I was born a bi-racial child at a time when that wasn’t as normal as it is now. It must not have been easy for my parents to be dating (or married) in the late 70’s into the 80’s. They were ahead of the curve back then, whereas now there are so many multiracial kids out there you don’t even blink at it. I experienced a good bit of teasing and mocking in my youth, but I think overcoming that and not being bothered by it has made me a stronger, better person.

We’re Circling the Drain Anyway

I’ve been around modern 21-year olds. It’s frightening. They literally cannot exist without their phones. The worst punishment you can hand to a kid now is taking their phone away. I remember having to ask for directions when I got lost on the road, or printing out Mapquest directions for longer trips. How many modern kids have ever held a map in their hands? Today’s society is designed for humans to have to do as little as possible, so long as they pay their phone bill and subscribe to the right services. What happens if some of those services are taken away by some hacker with a grudge? We’ve gotten a taste of it a couple of times when Microsoft’s services were down for a day or when Facebook & Instagram went down for mere hours.

My concern for the future isn’t only because young people now can’t live without their phones or can barely write or speak English at a high school level (though that does concern me- have you seen the way these people write online?). It isn’t because their heroes are greedy people who make deceptive videos on their phones to make money from sponsors showing off a lifestyle that isn’t attainable to most. I can’t help but see the future as bleak. This is not because of my cynical nature. As best I can tell it is based entirely in reality.

A lot of people my age now have teenage kids, and those just a little younger who are new parents, I’d like to ask them- did you ever for one moment consider the world you’re bringing your kids into? I have a hard time thinking about parenting under any other lens. What is your kid going to do for a job when they’re 25? There’s no evidence today’s parents are preparing for this. I’ve seen several studies that show the large majority of modern kids’ dream job is to become a YouTuber or social media influencer. These are not jobs that benefit society at large. Spoiler alert: despite how it appears, not everyone can do that. Not even close. Nor should the tech companies have that much sway over our culture.

This isn’t even to mention other existential threats like potential global war for access to materials needed to make technology (most of which is not located in the U.S., my friends) or devastating cyber attacks, which we should all be concerned about. As I said, we’ve already seen the chaos that can occur when something like Microsoft, Google or Facebook/Meta goes down for even a few hours. What happens if they’re down for a week?

What are your kids and their families gonna do when millions of people need to migrate farther inland because of rising sea levels? Kids born now will see the day when large areas of the United States coastline, particularly on the east coast, are no longer viable places to live. I think the figure is something like 70% of the US population lives within 100 miles of the ocean. By the year 2100, Minnesota will be 5-10 degrees warmer year round. Is the middle of country even close to being ready for all these people? I think you can guess the answer to that question.

People born today will live to see the time when oil is no longer a viable source of energy. And are we really making progress fast enough to be ready for that day? Thankfully, I won’t be around to find out.

Some things will get better, but because our government is so inept (do you see that improving anytime soon?), the vast majority of our citizens won’t be able to reap the benefits. Most people don’t get paid enough to afford a normal living…in the richest country on Earth. The federal minimum wage is still $7.25/hour, which is a joke. Most people can’t afford healthcare. Most people can’t afford to take a vacation. These are things human beings need. You can’t afford a home today unless you make upwards of $75,000 a year while more and more rental properties are owned by corporations who don’t have a single shit about your problems. Healthcare will advance remarkably, but we’re no closer to making it widely accessible than we were 20 years ago. Our kids don’t want to train for the jobs that will be necessary down the road because the American bloodlust for fame and potential riches cannot be quelled. When people say the American Dream is dead, that’s not hyperbole.

I’ve lived in the south for 15+ years now. I’ve met more people than I can count who clearly would love to see a lawless society so they can shoot other people at will for any reason they see fit. I have had some seriously disturbing conversations with these “folks”. You get the sense many of them feel it’s hard to own 30 guns and not be able to shoot at whatever you want. There are a lot of people who, because of popular culture of the past couple decades, fantasize about what they’ll do during the inevitable zombie apocalypse, as if this is a thing that will happen. These same people don’t understand almost everyone around them is already a zombie in one way or another, be it due to technology or a sense of hopelessness. You’ve got ultra wealthy billionaires buying acres and acres of land, or entire islands, and building bunkers. And for what? Perhaps my final boast will be that I was young when the world still functioned.

(I realize this got a little grim towards the end, but as Daniel Plainview said in There Will Be Blood, “There are times I look at people and I see nothing worth liking.” I often say I like individuals but despise people, and people these days inspire very little confidence for the future.)

To everyone in my generation, born in the 80’s, who are now starting to be called “old”, I say be proud of your age, because you’ve seen and done things that no other generation can or will ever again. Perhaps more importantly, as I’ve subtly alluded to, we won’t have to be here when things really go to shit. I find a certain peace in that fact. However, your kids, and especially their kids, had better be ready. Best of luck!